All the news the island lets us print
Vol. 2026-10No. 1Vanilla Solo edition
The wipe day briefingEarly edition
A hundred and eighteen metre shot closes the book, and a new seed opens for business
Season 2026-09 ran its full 28 days and closed this afternoon with 284 residents having passed through it, 436 recorded kills, and a longest shot that finally landed at 118.5 metres after three and a half weeks of trying. The wipe's very first kill had been a hatchet swung at point blank range on day one; its last notable one was a rifle round that crossed the better part of a football pitch to find its mark. Between those two moments the island logged 924 keycard swipes and 814 puzzle rooms cracked, proof that patience and violence were never in short supply at the same time.
That map is gone now. What replaces it: 3,500 units of coastline built on seed 605989079, thirty eight monuments already charted and waiting, nothing on any of them built by a resident yet. The Dome, Launch Site, both oil rigs, two harbours and a scattering of quarries and camps are all present and accounted for, along with the usual run of gas stations, supermarkets and sewer branches that give a fresh island its shape before anyone has a reason to fight over it. Thirty five days remain on the clock, which is either an eternity or no time at all, depending on who you ask.
The island opened under clear skies, the only weather sampled all day, with haze sitting right at the usual 0.35 the island considers unremarkable. A gentle first afternoon, for what that is worth to residents who will not see another clear day for some time.
Twenty eight days, two hundred and eighty four residents, and three names tied on twenty two kills
Season 2026-09 ran from the third of September to the first of October and saw 284 residents pass through it. The board closed with Pikachurrito on top at 22 kills, a 0.46 ratio and 83.4 hours logged, with Squishyy matching the kill count at 22 but a lighter 0.37 ratio across 52.7 hours, and 666 rounding out the same 22 with a far tidier 2.00 ratio over 50.7 hours. HaZZe finished fourth on raw kills at 21, but carried the sharpest ratio anyone managed all season at 5.25, a number that still stands as the wipe's record. Pikachurrito's 22 kills held as the top of the kills table outright, and Haunter UwU closed as the most-played resident of the wipe at 146.7 hours without ever troubling the kills column.
Closing the book on 2026-09
It opened with a hatchet at zero range and it closed, three and a half weeks later, with a rifle round that travelled further than anything else the island managed all season. In between, 436 kills were logged, 924 keycard doors swiped open, and 814 puzzle rooms eventually gave up what was inside them, though not always quickly: one sat fully solved for the better part of twenty hours while nobody came to collect, the island apparently in no hurry to spend its own loot.
The casino found a thousand scrap stake worth turning into four thousand, and then, three weeks later, did it again, as if the wheel had simply been waiting for the question to be asked a second time. Somewhere in the middle of all that, one life ran barely six hours, rarely touched home, and put down sixty four other residents before it ended, a stretch of violence the rest of the wipe's fighting never came close to matching.
None of it carries forward. The map that held it is gone, the grids are meaningless now, and the island has already started filling in a new one. It does this without sentiment, which is either admirable or slightly alarming, depending on how attached you were to the old coastline.
On the record for 2026-10
That this wipe produces a kills leader who beats last season's mark of 22: graded in the wipe in review.
That someone quietly passes last wipe's playtime mark of 146.7 hours before the season closes: graded in the wipe in review.
That the K/D table produces a ratio to match or beat last wipe's 5.25: graded in the wipe in review.
Whether the new map's thirty eight monuments get fought over evenly, or whether the population settles on two or three favourites within the first few days, the way islands usually do.
Whether the puzzle rooms keep their old habit of sitting solved and unclaimed for the better part of an hour, or whether a hungrier population on a fresh map picks them clean faster this time.
Whether the casino floor finds another four thousand scrap trick worth repeating, or whether last season's luck was a one map phenomenon that does not travel.