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Week oneIssue 2 of 6

The BZ Chronicle

SquallyIsland weather, Wed

All the news the island lets us print

Vol. 2026-10No. 2Vanilla Solo edition

Week oneChapter oneday 6 of this map29 days left in the season

Casino floor

A 405 scrap spin comes back as 8,505

STAROSTA put a modest stake on one turn of the wheel on Thursday and walked away from the session 7,950 scrap ahead.

The wheel spent the first week of the wipe taking scrap off the island in the usual small, steady amounts. On Thursday it made one exception. STAROSTA placed 405 scrap on a single spin and was paid 8,505, twenty one times the stake.

The rest of the session cost a little, as sessions do, and STAROSTA finished it 7,950 scrap up. Last issue asked whether the casino floor would find another four thousand scrap trick on the new map. It found one roughly twice the size, on the first day.

The wheel has not commented. It rarely needs to. It has the rest of the season to ask for the money back, and it is very patient.

The Wire

Thu 15:17. Somebody put 10 scrap on the big wheel and came away with 20, which is exactly the kind of win that leads to more spins.

Thu 23:45. An elite crate in S1 was opened for the first time this wipe.

Fri 00:23. A fishing trip produced one anchovy.

Fri 04:20. A resident fed 168 scrap to the big wheel and received nothing back.

Sat 10:48. A small shark came out of the water on the end of somebody's line.

Sat 11:31. A vendor took 750 scrap off one resident in a single visit.

Sun 06:07. The big wheel took 144 scrap from a resident and returned none of it.

Mon 08:34. Somebody set a crate going at Power Plant.

Wed 05:11. The wheel at Bandit Camp paid out 406 scrap.

Wed 18:00. A resident put 2 scrap into the caboose slot machine, and the caboose kept it.

Crime & Courts

One feud stands at twelve to three

Several pairs of residents spent the week returning to the same argument, and three people got even inside the hour.

The longest running quarrel of the week belongs to two residents who have now killed each other fifteen times between them. The count stood at twelve to three by Saturday afternoon, which makes it less a feud than a habit for one of them and a lesson that has not yet landed for the other.

Two smaller disputes kept closer books. One pair finished at four to one from Thursday afternoon onward; another reached one to four by Sunday morning.

Others preferred a single reply. On Monday one resident took nine minutes to return the favour with an SMG in O21. On Sunday morning another waited 34 minutes before settling up with a Thompson in R19, and on Monday evening a third waited 36 minutes and did it with an AK47U at Small Harbor.

A life that ran five minutes short of a day

One resident lasted 23 hours and 55 minutes and took 141 others along the way.

The longest violent life of the week ended in the small hours of Monday. In 23 hours and 55 minutes it accounted for 93 residents and 48 scientists, which is a full day's work by any standard and left very little time for anything else.

Two shorter careers kept a quicker pace. One life of 2 hours and 59 minutes, ending on Sunday afternoon, took 70 residents. Another of 3 hours and 5 minutes, ending early on Wednesday, took 69. Neither troubled a single scientist, who will have noticed and said nothing.

The wipe's first killing was done with a hunting bow

The island opened its account the old fashioned way, and some residents kept it that way all week.

The first resident to be killed by another this wipe died on Thursday afternoon in R8, to a hunting bow. The island had been open for a matter of minutes and had already decided gunpowder could wait.

The bow kept working. On Friday afternoon one found its mark at 14 metres in U4. A crossbow did the same at 20.8 metres in S19 on Thursday night, and on Saturday afternoon in T7 somebody settled matters with a salvaged icepick at a range of zero metres, which is as close as a disagreement gets.

New Arrivals

Newcomers finish their first missions in record time

121 new residents arrived this week, and several of them got straight to work.

One newcomer completed a mission eighteen minutes after first setting foot on the island, early on Friday. Another finished one on Friday afternoon after 2.6 hours, and a third on Wednesday afternoon after 8.1 hours. None of them needed telling twice.

Elite crates went the same way. A newcomer of 3.1 hours was first into one at Small Harbor on Sunday night, and another of 7 hours repeated the trick at Small Harbor on Wednesday afternoon. On Monday evening a resident of 8 hours opened the first elite crate of the wipe at Military Tunnel. The paper congratulates all of them and suggests they keep the contents somewhere sensible.

The Farm Report

Reeseus grows a near perfect hemp plant

The farming desk reports its first serious gene line of the season.

On Saturday Reeseus produced a hemp plant carrying the gene line GYYGYG, about as close to perfect as the island lets anyone get in the first week. It is the kind of plant other farmers ask about and are not told.

Monuments

A puzzle room sat solved for 21 hours and 40 minutes

The island's locked doors were busy. One of its rewards was not.

Last issue wondered whether a hungrier population on a fresh map would pick the puzzle rooms clean faster than the old habit of leaving them for the better part of an hour. The answer, on Wednesday, was a puzzle room that sat solved for 21 hours and 40 minutes before anyone came to collect.

Not every door was neglected. The locked door at Airfield was the most used of the week, swiped 49 times by 19 different residents, which suggests the island has already picked at least one favourite.

Obituaries

Seven hours and sixteen minutes, and not so much as a rabbit

A resident who died early on Monday had lived 7 hours and 16 minutes without harming a living thing. Most of that time, 5.8 hours of it, was spent at home, which is where peaceable people tend to be found.

The island, which does not share the sentiment, ended the arrangement anyway. The paper notes the record and admires it.

Six and a half hours abroad, harming nobody

A resident who died on Wednesday morning lived 6 hours and 28 minutes, spent none of them at a base, and in all that wandering never hurt so much as a rabbit. It was a long walk taken in good faith, and the island cut it short as it always does.

Weather

  • ThuShowers
  • FriPassing showers
  • SatPassing showers
  • SunClear
  • MonPassing showers
  • TueShowers
  • WedSqually

Most days were showers of one kind or another, with Sunday the only fully Clear day of the week. Wednesday turned Squally, with storm in a small share of readings and the week's thickest fog.

Watch next week

  • Whether STAROSTA keeps any of the 7,950 scrap, or whether you see the wheel take it back one spin at a time.
  • Whether the feud standing at twelve to three narrows, or whether you will be reading a bigger number next week.
  • Whether a puzzle room beats 21 hours and 40 minutes of sitting solved, or whether you finally go and collect.

The BZ Chronicle is drafted by machine from the island’s own event wire and read by a human before it prints. It never prints held wealth, base locations or anyone’s schedule. On Vanilla, names appear only on comedy that tells nobody where anyone was. Rather not be named? Ask in Discord and the paper will leave you out.