All the news the island lets us print
Vol. 2026-08No. 2PvE Zombies edition
Week oneEarly edition
TooBy tops the board, then cleans out the casino for good measure
Six days into the wipe, the standings read the way TooBy would have written them. Eighty four hours and eight minutes on the clock, 1,637 NPCs down, and a season lead that CyanN, sitting on 110 hours and 51 minutes of playtime, has not been able to close. On Thursday alone TooBy claimed first loot on elite crates fourteen separate times, cycling through grids S6, H6, and H7 like a delivery route, before wandering over to the big wheel and turning a 278 scrap wager into 556 at 02:16 Friday morning.
The rest of the island kept working through it. The community ledger now reads 63.0 thousand NPCs killed, 45.8 thousand barrels cracked, and 4,785 hours logged by 453 residents since Thursday's wipe. Saturday was the week's roughest patch of sky, with 37 percent of the day's samples turning unsettled and a fog bank thick enough, at 0.77, to be worth writing down against the island's usual 0.35 haze.
CyanN quietly logged more hours than anyone on the island this week and still finished second. The house always keeps a ledger of its own.
Grid X13 becomes the island's busiest door
No keycard grid saw more traffic this week than X13, swiped seven times between Thursday afternoon and Friday morning by Archer, TooBy, doseyourdome, and Furry Gang, none of them apparently bothered that someone else had already been through. Elsewhere the puzzle rooms ran the usual spread from instant to interminable: most cleared out within ten seconds of unlocking, but one room held out until 21:51 Thursday, seven hours and thirty one minutes after it was first tackled.
The wheel pays out big, twice
TooBy's session at the big wheel ran from Thursday afternoon into Friday's small hours, swinging from single digit losses up to a run of four figure wagers that hit four times running: 238 scrap became 476, 274 became 548, then 278 became 556 at 02:16 Friday. Not every table needed that kind of stake. Impatient turned one scrap into 126 at 21:16 Thursday, and Deris parlayed a 13 scrap bet into 143 the following morning.
MR John Sweetcorn's eighteen crate dive
Between 19:40 and 19:54 Thursday, MR John Sweetcorn surfaced with an underwater crate eighteen times, barely pausing for breath. The rest of the week's diving happened in the dark hours: a pair of divers worked the sea floor together before dawn on Friday, and the late morning shift went to a diver who logged ten crates in under six minutes.
The gardens keep their genes messy
Corn, pumpkin, hemp, and wheat all came up out of the ground this week with genes running the full alphabet of letters, no two harvests matching. Away from the soil, one resident's life report logged 88 minutes spent standing inside monument walls in a single life, a stat the island tracks but rarely rewards.
Twenty cars, no names taken
Friday night's shredder run went through twenty vehicles between 22:00 and midnight, and not one of them came with an owner attached to the log. Away from the wreckage, the scrap vendor paid out its top rate of 750 scrap eleven separate times across the week, to residents ranging from UncleRog to TinglyMcMoist to TooBy twice over.
Fourteen crates, six purges, and a skill dump in thirty five seconds
TooBy's name is all over this week's board. Fourteen elite first loot claims across three grids on Thursday alone, a purge win logged at 21:19, and by Friday night the character sheet had four fresh skills learned in one burst and four more in another. TooBy was not the only one filling out a card: 32 Sperdos, Archer, MR John Sweetcorn, Baldilocks, and Mr.Hectic all logged purge wins of their own, and kuromi. put away five skills in thirty five seconds flat, a pace UncleRog nearly matched with six over roughly forty seconds later the same evening.
Last week's thirty one minute resident turned up again in Thursday's ledger with a kill count climbing to 27 before the next report. Whether that keeps climbing or the island evens the score is still open.
Grid Z12's level one door got swiped twice more this week and never once advanced to level two. The keycard trail Nuktuk Bo cut on day one still goes nowhere further, at least on paper.
TooBy holds the lead the early monument traffic promised, but CyanN's 110 hours and 51 minutes is the bigger number on the sheet. Whether hours or kill count wins the argument by the next issue remains to be seen.