All the news the island lets us print
Vol. 2026-08No. 4PvE Hardcore edition
Week threeEarly edition
Two lives run past twelve hours, and one ends with three hundred and thirty two dead scientists
Buzz logged out of a life at THU 05:59 that had run twelve hours and eleven minutes, closing on 332 scientists, 107 players and 27 animals. zixanara's own life ran a few minutes longer still, twelve hours and twenty eight minutes, ending at THU 03:04 with 253 scientists and 64 players to show for it. Between the two of them the guards at every monument on the island had a rough Thursday.
Elsewhere the board kept its usual shape. crass_user tops it on 3,909 NPCs killed despite logging roughly sixty fewer hours than second placed X_X T0A5T3D, who leads on hours alone at 162 and a half. Gold Coin kept moving alongside the scrap, X_X T0A5T3D looting 678 coins this week to JustKobe's 604 and crass_user's 577. The weather ran unsettled through midweek, heavy rain on Wednesday bracketed by a squally Thursday and Friday, before Sunday eased all the way to light cloud and Monday answered with a full thundery close. The island logged 67.0k NPC kills and 13.7k barrels across the week, both up on the one before.
Eight days remain. The next issue closes the season.
JustKobe tours nine monuments before breakfast, DaveThePleb answers with eight
Eighty fights with the island's guards ran back to back from WED 22:00 to THU 09:23, and two names carried most of it. JustKobe worked nine addresses in a little over four hours, an Abandoned Military Base, two advanced signal towers, the Launch Site, a Patrol Helicopter kill and Oxum's Gas Station among them, never resting long enough to reload twice at the same door. DaveThePleb matched the range without the pace, eight fights from Radtown to a Mining Outpost to three separate trips at an Oil Rig, the last one closing out just after 02:00.
R-3 pays out twelve more times, to three different names
Last issue left grid R-3 an open question, the vault that had paid Yadernij_Gus eight times in nine hours. The door didn't lock, it just changed hands. TreeGoat found it first this week, cracking the level three lock at THU 02:38 for two elite pulls. Buzz took over from there and returned three times in the same day, THU 06:28, THU 12:59 and THU 14:32, two pulls every visit. zixanara picked up the habit on Friday morning, two more rounds at 05:42 and 07:30. Twelve elite pulls off one grid reference this week, and the door shows no sign of tiring. Elsewhere JustKobe cracked M18 three separate times on Thursday alone, and Bongulated managed much the same a few hours earlier.
Two lives outlast the rest of the week combined
Buzz logged out at THU 05:59 after twelve hours and eleven minutes alive, 332 scientists dead, 107 players, 27 animals. zixanara's own life ran a few minutes longer, twelve hours and twenty eight minutes, closing at THU 03:04 with 253 scientists and 64 players. DaveThePleb wasn't far off the pace either, nine hours and nine minutes alive for 137 scientists and 53 players. None of them came within reach of JustKobe's near day long life from last issue, the closest this week managed barely half of it. Down in the dirt, X_X T0A5T3D harvested the exact same hemp genome, XYYXGH, six separate times this week, from WED 22:08 through THU 14:52, either a very good seed or a very fixed routine.
Five vendor runs, four cars, one very tidy Monday
Scrap moved through five vendor sales this week for 775 total. Buzz opened the ledger twice at 125 scrap each, THU 06:39 and THU 12:51, tgm.master added 200 later that same Thursday, Tyvon23 sold 125 more that evening, and murt closed the week's ledger with another 200 on Friday. The shredder, meanwhile, took only four cars all week: one lone sacrifice on Saturday night and then three more inside four minutes on Monday, as if someone finally cleared out a garage.
Нер'зул loses it twice, then wins it all back at once
Sunday didn't favor the wheel: Нер'зул staked 33 scrap at SUN 18:04 and got back nothing, and DaveThePleb followed a few hours later with four bets of 34 scrap apiece inside eight seconds, same result. Tuesday told a different story. Нер'зул opened with 220 scrap spread across three bets and broke exactly even, then went back to the table nine seconds later and turned a 27 scrap wager into a 588 scrap payout, better than twenty times the stake.
CapCon learns ten skills before the coffee's cold
CapCon's Friday morning produced the week's tidiest skill dump, ten skills learned between 10:32:22 and 10:33:17, fifty five seconds start to finish. Ronin managed four in nine seconds the night before, and murt and Tyvon23 each logged smaller bursts earlier in the week. crass_user, meanwhile, went on an elite crate tour across seven different grids over two days, ten pulls in total, from a Mining Outpost's neighbourhood on Thursday morning to K29 and Q20 by Friday afternoon. One of the newer arrivals logged the week's only recorded heal, back on their feet the same moment they went down.
Watch whether grid R-3 keeps paying through the season's final week, or whether the door finally runs dry before day 28.
Watch whether CapCon's fifty five second, ten skill Friday was a one off or the start of a late push, with the finale just over a week away.
Watch whether Нер'зул goes back to the wheel after Tuesday's 588 scrap turnaround, and whether the house remembers.