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Week threeIssue 4 of 6

The BZ Chronicle

Passing showersIsland weather, Tue

All the news the island lets us print

Vol. 2026-10No. 4PvE Zombies edition

Week three15 days left in the season

Division of labour

At the Water Treatment Plant, shadow1100cc hacks and chaseam0113 collects

A locked crate was opened on Sunday afternoon by one resident and emptied by another, and only one of them had planned it that way.

On Sunday afternoon at the Water Treatment Plant, shadow1100cc hacked a locked crate. chaseam0113 emptied it.

A hacked crate asks a lot of a resident: someone has to start it, someone has to wait out the timer, and someone has to be standing there when it opens. This week those were not all the same someone.

The record notes, without drawing conclusions, that chaseam0113 had built a boat at P25 the previous afternoon: 19 blocks and three deployables. The island does not say what it was for, and the Chronicle will not guess.

shadow1100cc's side of the story has not been filed.

The Wire

Wed 23:18. xDoctorMutex started a locked crate at Launch Site.

Wed 23:25. k014 saw a locked crate through to the end at Oil Rig.

Thu 13:13. Volao cleared a tier two raidable base at AA13.

Thu 16:41. Somebody fed a car to the shredder.

Fri 03:58. W00ZIE cast a line and reeled in a tarp.

Fri 23:09. Skrrt Vonnegut killed Grimoire with a rocket at E13.

Sat 17:05. Agos completed a boar hunt, and would complete another the following night.

Tue 17:07. krinndles finished a lumberjack job with vodka in its title.

Tue 22:03. MYTHOS's minicopter was destroyed at Large Oil Rig by the scientists' Chinook, with nobody aboard.

Wed 00:42. Somebody caught a catfish.

Transit

Grimoire's minicopter lasts 51 seconds and still has company

Four minicopters and two boats changed hands this week. Few owners got their scrap's worth.

Grimoire bought a minicopter on Friday evening and crashed it 51 seconds later, the shortest ownership of the week. It was not a lonely distinction. Late on Wednesday xxx crashed a minicopter at Missile Silo, and shortly after midnight xxx won 200 scrap on the wheel at Bandit Camp and crashed a second minicopter, owned for three minutes.

On Thursday morning AAOgotti Twitch bought a minicopter and died from a fall 52 seconds later. On Monday AAOgotti Twitch tried again and kept one for 20 minutes before crashing it, which by this week's standards is a long marriage. Last issue asked whether AAOgotti Twitch's next second life would outlast four minutes. AggroTV did revive AAOgotti Twitch on Wednesday, and the island has kept the result to itself.

The water was no kinder. KiloSwift bought a RHIB on Sunday and was killed by a scientist four minutes later. discodancer bought a rowboat on Thursday night and lasted two minutes before a scarecrow ended the voyage.

The Ranch

TryMeHoe777's ranch delivers 194 animals in a week

The island's horses, elsewhere, did not have the same week.

The busiest ranch on the island belongs to TryMeHoe777, where 194 animals were born this week: 86 calves, 76 bull calves and 32 lambs.

Last issue's front page left the island wondering whether to trust a horse. This week the question ran the other way. On Sunday night a heavy scientist cut down a horse at H18 with its rider still aboard, and on Monday afternoon a horse at I20 died in a fall, rider also aboard.

Business & the Casino

One spin pays seven 2,205 scrap, and the wheel takes most of it home

On Monday night seven put 105 scrap on a single spin and was paid 2,205. When the session closed seven was 436 scrap ahead, which is a fine evening and also means the wheel recovered most of what it had handed over.

The wheel was also visited on Wednesday by TooBy, who put 722 scrap on it. The outcome is between TooBy and the wheel.

Around the Island

Two satellites come down on the night the grid reaches stage four

The island kept busy in the small hours of Thursday.

Early on Thursday the island's power grid came up to stage four. Within the hour a satellite came down at H8, and another followed at Y13 about an hour after that.

The grid did not stay there. On Sunday night it was climbing again, from stage two to stage three.

Oddities

Most of kyoncy's 83.5 hours were spent indoors

kyoncy has played 83.5 hours this wipe and spent 92 percent of them indoors. The island has had to make do with the remaining eight percent, and is said to be taking it personally.

Obituaries

Snake Hates Crocs, 73 minutes, undone by a personal shotgun trap

Snake Hates Crocs had been alive for 73 minutes at Oasis C on Monday afternoon when the shotgun trap went off. It was Snake Hates Crocs's own trap, and it worked exactly as intended, only not on the intended person.

Survived by the trap.

Alaster667 lived eight and a half hours and harmed nothing

Alaster667 lived 8 hours 30 minutes, all of them at base, and in that time harmed nothing at all, not even a rabbit. The life ended on Friday evening. The paper does not have the cause, only the conduct, and the conduct was spotless.

Three residents and their own explosives part on poor terms

TryMeHoe777 died to an explosive of their own at B8 early on Friday, 18 minutes into a life. On Sunday night BudsMcKenzie, 44 minutes in, was killed at E4 by their own torpedo. On Wednesday evening BullhornMcKenzie lasted seven minutes before an explosive satchel, also personal property, settled the matter at N19.

The name McKenzie appears twice in this notice. The Chronicle draws no conclusions about families.

The scientists keep their regulars

runxaxmuck has died to the island's scientists 27 times in 13.7 hours of play this wipe.

On Sunday night BudsMcKenzie revived Agos, and a scientist had Agos again five minutes later. On Monday night Ghee Buttersnaps spent a medical syringe on depresso ary, who lasted 44 seconds before a scientist took the syringe's work back.

The week’s awards

Buyer's Remorse Cup
To Grimoire, for owning a minicopter for 51 seconds on Friday evening. The receipt outlasted the aircraft.
Hoisted by Their Own Petard
To Snake Hates Crocs, for setting a shotgun trap at Oasis C and then being found by it 73 minutes into a life.
The Conscientious Objector
To Alaster667, for 8 hours 30 minutes alive, all of it at base, without harming so much as a rabbit.
The Scientists' Favourite
To runxaxmuck, for 27 deaths to the island's scientists in 13.7 hours of play. They have started keeping a chair free.
The Second Chance, Briefly
To Bandit, revived by Indigo on Friday night and dead again seven minutes later, with no help from anyone but Bandit.

Resident of the week

Bandit

99.8 hours on the island this season

Bandit dies three times on Friday night and then clears the hardest base of the week

Bandit's Friday night went like this. Indigo revived Bandit, and an auto turret killed Bandit 52 seconds later. Indigo revived Bandit again, and seven minutes later Bandit was dead, this time with no help from anyone else. A third revival produced 74 seconds of life before Bandit bled out.

Shortly afterwards Bandit and Indigo, just the two of them, cleared a tier four raidable base: the hardest cleared on the island this week, out of 31 cleared across every tier. Bandit has put 99.8 hours into the season so far. Indigo, who did all the picking up, also took the top of the NPC kill board from CyanN this week, which suggests Indigo had plenty of practice on the way in.

Classifieds

From 75 vending machines and 245 offers in stock.

Also open for business: Bridge Shop, Bridge Shop Delux, Bridge Vending, CONNORS ORE EMPORIUM:eyebrow:, CyanN's Store, CyanN's Store 2, Fuse's Bp Frags 4 Coins:heart:, Getcha Nukes, Guarddawg's Honey :coffeecan:, Kuromi's Bakery :heart:, Kuromi's Teas :heart:, L9 FOR SALE.

Weather

  • WedPassing showers
  • ThuLight cloud
  • FriPassing showers
  • SatPassing showers
  • SunLight cloud
  • MonSqually
  • TuePassing showers

A mostly clear week, with passing showers on four days and rain seen most often on Wednesday. Storms showed up on Sunday and Monday along with the week's thickest fog, and Monday was squally enough to earn the label.

Watch next week

  • Whether shadow1100cc hacks another crate within reach of chaseam0113, and whether you stand guard over yours at the Water Treatment Plant.
  • Whether Indigo keeps the top of the NPC board from CyanN, and whether Bandit gets through a Friday night without needing Indigo three times.
  • Whether anybody keeps a new minicopter longer than AAOgotti Twitch's 20 minutes, and whether you still buy one after reading this issue.

The BZ Chronicle is drafted by machine from the island’s own event wire and read by a human before it prints. It never prints held wealth, base locations or anyone’s schedule. Rather not be named? Ask in Discord and the paper will leave you out.