All the news the island lets us print
Vol. 2026-09No. 2PvE Zombies edition
Week oneEarly edition
Six days into the wipe, CyanN already tops both boards that matter
Six days after the map opened clear and empty, the island has settled into a rhythm: 3,556 stretches of fighting scientists and wildlife, 1,162 keycard swipes, 972 puzzles cracked and 1,284 trips to the planters, all logged before Wednesday closed out. Only four of those encounters were resident against resident, a quiet week by any standard, though the four that happened were memorable enough on their own. Sitting above the noise, quietly, is CyanN, who leads the island in both NPCs killed and hours logged with three and a half weeks still to play.
At H14 on Friday evening someone had a very bad hour: a battering ram, then a compound bow eight minutes later, then a rifle before the night was out, three deaths inside fifty minutes and no two delivered the same way. Down at the vendor stalls, dkwgduck turned one trade into 2,250 scrap on Sunday morning, more than most residents will see across the whole 28 days, and by Wednesday teatime TequilaBoom had turned a 48 scrap bet at the wheel into 1,008, the kind of number that keeps a casino column interesting.
The weather held clear only on the day the map spawned. Every day since has carried at least a trace of rain, and Tuesday's thunder was the roughest the island has logged yet. Twenty two days remain.
Four kills all week, and three of them happened to the same grid
The island logged 3,556 separate stretches of fighting this week, most of it against scientists at Oxum's Gas Station, Abandoned Supermarket, Ferry Terminal and the Jungle Ziggurat, and against the wildlife in between. Almost none of it was resident against resident: only four kills all week, and three of those landed on the same person at H14 inside a single Friday evening, a battering ram followed by a compound bow followed by a rifle, no two weapons repeated. The week's other kill was a cleaner piece of work, Jagawatz closing to under two meters at E7 early Monday morning and ending Ricardo's night with a rifle round. CyanN logged more fighting sessions than anyone on the island this week, 121 in all.
AF13's crate gets cracked by six different residents this week
The island's keycards turned 1,162 times this week and its locked crates went up 190 times, with one location doing more than its share of the work: AF13 saw a fresh crate started by six different residents across six different days, from CyanN on day one to TequilaBoom on the last. UncleRog swiped more keycards than anyone else, 76 of them, enough to suggest a man who has simply stopped counting.
The wheel pays out four figures twice in the same week
The big wheel at R11 stayed busy all week, 259 bets placed and 63 payouts returned. LITTLESTAR cleared 652 scrap late Tuesday, and by Wednesday teatime TequilaBoom had done better still, turning 48 scrap into 1,008 in a single spin. BBwarrior909 simply kept feeding the machine, 70 bets across the week, more than anyone else bothered to place.
One resident supplies a third of the week's crates
Five hundred and forty one crates came up out of the water this week, and 2eZ | Vegus personally surfaced 187 of them, better than a third of the island's total, including a marathon dive on the very first day that saw eleven crates and two full traverses before lunch. moko had the tidiest run of the week, four crates surfaced in eight minutes flat on Sunday evening.
Hemp everywhere, and one farmer outworking the rest
The planters saw 1,284 harvest sessions this week, hemp turning up more than any other crop in the sample, with berries, corn, pumpkin and wheat filling the gaps. kuromi. put in more sessions than anyone else on the island, 68 of them, a number that reads less like a hobby and more like a job.
One life spent mostly indoors, another spent mostly killing scientists
Ongka's week included a nine hour and seven minute life in which just over five hours, more than half of it, was spent inside monuments rather than out in the world, and still came away with 25 player kills and not a single scientist bothered. RealSweatyHands went the other direction entirely: a nine hour and forty minute life that ended with 226 scientists dead, a number that makes most of the island's monument runs look like sightseeing.
Four cars into the shredder inside three minutes
The shredder took eight cars this week, four of them in one burst on Tuesday night, 22:19 to 22:21, barely time to walk away between feedings. Vendors changed hands 143 times, the fattest single trade going to dkwgduck for 2,250 scrap on Sunday morning, and 33 fish came out of the water, more than a dozen of them landed by BudsMcKenzie alone.
CyanN is chasing a number that isn't his yet
This wipe's board currently reads CyanN on top for both NPCs killed, 1,668, and hours logged, 102 hours and 34 minutes, with TooBy close behind on both counts. Neither figure is within reach of last wipe's marks: TooBy's own 3,626 NPC kills and shadow1100cc's 240.7 hours still stand untouched, and there are 22 days left to close the gap. Elsewhere on the board, 1,167 skills were learned this week, 105 purges were won, and 791 elite first loots were claimed.
Vegus, CyanN and duncan52 carry the week
2eZ | Vegus had the busiest week in the water, 187 crates surfaced, more than a third of the island's total on their own. CyanN put in more fighting sessions than anyone else, 121 of them, on the way to the top of the NPC board. And duncan52 walked 4,525 scrap through the vendor stalls, more than most residents will see across the whole wipe.
Jagawatz
Jagawatz ran through two full lives this week and made a project of both. The first lasted 52 hours and 43 minutes and ended day four with 148 players and 153 scientists dead, only two and a half hours of that spent inside a monument, the rest out in the world doing the work. The second life, closed out Wednesday, was shorter at 23 hours and 5 minutes but no gentler: 25 players and 76 scientists down before it ended. In between there was a scene worth lingering on, four in the morning on Monday, grid E7, closing to under two meters on Ricardo and finishing him with a rifle round before the sun was up.
None of it came at the expense of the ordinary island routine. Jagawatz swiped into a level two door at A28, planted and picked white berries, blue berries, corn and wheat across both lives, lost a 50 scrap bet at the big wheel on the second night, and still found time to fail a fishing trip on day zero, same as everyone else. Ninety four hours on the island this week, spread across 191 separate things worth logging.
Whether CyanN's lead over the NPC and playtime boards, 1,668 kills and 102 hours 34 minutes, survives with TooBy sitting only a few hundred kills behind after one week.
Whether H14 stays the island's unluckiest square or whoever keeps dying there finally moves house.
Whether Jagawatz can string together a third long life, or whether two runs past twenty hours each catches up with him.