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Week threeIssue 4 of 6

The BZ Chronicle

Passing showersIsland weather, Tue

All the news the island lets us print

Vol. 2026-10No. 4PvE Pure edition

Week three15 days left in the season

On the rails

Euphoric_Cyhcrome is killed by a workcart, the one vehicle on the island that never leaves its route

The life had lasted 1 hour 59 minutes when the workcart reached R20 on Wednesday morning.

Euphoric_Cyhcrome had been alive for 1 hour 59 minutes on Wednesday when a workcart came through R20 and settled the matter.

A workcart runs on rails. It does not turn off, it does not hide, and it cannot leave the line to go looking for anyone. To be hit by one, a resident has to be standing where the track goes.

It was the best story on the desk this week, ahead of two minicopter owners and a marksman who fired through four lives without hitting anything. That is a strong field. The island has not commented. It rarely needs to.

The Wire

Wed 22:50. The cargo ship left the island's waters.

Wed 22:57. Slice grew a red berry plant with a near perfect gene line, GGYYGY.

Thu 01:02. Mojo_Jojo808 put 75 scrap on the wheel at Bandit Camp.

Thu 18:06. Vicarious built a boat at Z3: 22 blocks and 25 deployables.

Thu 23:40. livilo0 lost a fish when the line snapped.

Fri 18:35. fedbruh47 failed a deep sea treasure mission because the deep sea had closed.

Sun 17:43. A satellite came down at J13.

Sun 23:52. Animal built a 65 block boat at C6 and put 21 deployables aboard.

Tue 16:43. thebigstinky195 opened a crate on the seabed.

Wed 19:19. !&Lu!S&! set out into the deep sea.

Transit

Thursday's two minicopter buyers last four minutes and three minutes respectively

In both cases the record lists the cause of death as the owner.

cTapp bought a minicopter in the early hours of Thursday and was dead 4 minutes later. The record names the killer as cTapp.

Late that same night Larfleeze bought a minicopter of their own and improved on the method, lasting 3 minutes. The killer, again, was Larfleeze. Neither minicopter has been charged with anything.

The Ranch

NKDcheeto's ranch delivers 119 animals in a week

48 lambs, 36 calves and 35 bull calves, the busiest ranch on the island.

The island's busiest ranch belongs to NKDcheeto, where 119 animals were born this week: 48 lambs, 36 calves and 35 bull calves. On Sunday evening NKDcheeto also found time to finish a boar hunt.

The livestock market was active. [MD] shoop sold an animal called Fern on Tuesday for 55 scrap, 240 low grade fuel and two targeting computers, with no offers turned down along the way.

A hard week to be a horse

Five horses lost, most of them to the people who owned them.

Juice's horse was killed at E22 on Saturday night by another resident with a pickaxe. Nobody was riding it at the time. This is a PvE island.

AnimusWoxs lost a horse at Underground Cave on Wednesday morning, cause listed as self. Two days earlier AnimusWoxs had sold an animal called Cynthia for a tarp and 120 metal fragments, and that one at least is still alive as far as the record knows.

Elsewhere a resident lost a horse at Abandoned Cabins early on Tuesday, also their own doing. Another horse drowned at E2 on Monday with nobody aboard, and on Tuesday night one fell to its death at Bandit Camp with its rider still in the saddle.

New Arrivals

PRalliK opens an elite crate at Large Harbor less than an hour after arriving

Three newcomers reached elite loot first this week, and one finished a mission at three and a half hours.

PRalliK had been on the island for 0.9 hours on Monday evening when they were first into an elite crate at Large Harbor. Most residents take considerably longer to find the harbour.

Earlier on Monday JohPohMama did the same at Small Harbor, 5.3 hours in, and on Tuesday Geordieassassin8 followed at Large Harbor after 5 hours. On Saturday MMJ13 finished a mission with 3.4 hours on the island. They were among 55 new residents this week, and the arrivals list is printed elsewhere on this page.

Sport

The week's hardest raidable base falls to a single raider, kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

A tier four base, cleared alone on Friday morning.

Of the 135 raidable bases cleared across every tier this week, the hardest was a tier four, and it was cleared on Friday morning by one raider: kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

The same resident also spent one life this week of 11 hours 32 minutes, 9.9 of them at base, without harming a single thing. The island contains multitudes, and apparently so does kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

Business & the Casino

Katnip takes 1,392 scrap off the wheel at Bandit Camp

Elsewhere a ten scrap stake became 125.

The biggest wheel payout of the week went to Katnip, 1,392 scrap at Bandit Camp in the early hours of Wednesday. kevinjd1979 collected 134 there on Saturday.

On Thursday night Chubetouo put 10 scrap into a slot machine and took out 125. On Monday thebigstinky195 put 4 into a slot machine and took out nothing, which is the arrangement the machines prefer.

Monuments

Power Plant is the busiest door for a third week running

144 swipes from 23 residents, and the grid wobbled on the way.

Power Plant's locked door took 144 swipes from 23 different residents this week, the most on the island for the third week in a row, though down from 176 and 201 in the weeks before. One minute after the busiest moment at the door on Wednesday night, Winnikie was first into the elite crate inside.

The power grid itself was less steady. Shortly after the week began it slipped from stage four to stage three, and it climbed back to stage four in the early hours of Thursday.

Somebody called in the Airfield Chinook three times this week: early on Tuesday, on Wednesday evening and on Thursday night.

Obituaries

Three residents starve, two of them without any clothes on

dinkle starved in the Train Tunnel on Wednesday morning, 1 hour 51 minutes into a life, naked. arminius managed 64 minutes at M20 on Sunday before starving, also naked. On Saturday a resident at I5 starved after 43 minutes.

The island grows food in most directions and keeps animals in the rest. It did not point any of them out. It never does.

The week’s awards

Spray and Pray Medal
10,407 rounds fired this wipe so far, 126 of them landing, a hit rate of 1.2 percent. The ammunition industry thanks The Rat Dad for continued support.
The Conscientious Objector
A life of 11 hours 32 minutes, 9.9 of them at home, in which kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk harmed nothing at all, not even a rabbit.
At One With Nature
dinkle went into the Train Tunnel naked and starved there after 1 hour 51 minutes, as close to nature as a resident can get without being eaten by it.
Saddle Sore Cup
The island's most travelled rider this wipe so far, with 124 kilometres on horseback and presumably a cushion on order.
Lady Luck Citation
Chubetouo fed 10 scrap into a slot machine on Thursday night and received 125 back, a result the machine is still reviewing.

Resident of the week

Mrthanosdih

85.4 hours on the island this season

Mrthanosdih fires thousands of rounds across four lives and hits nothing

Mrthanosdih's week began at Lake A on Saturday morning: a life of 32 minutes, 455 shots, no hits. Somebody revived Mrthanosdih with a medical syringe early on Monday, and the campaign resumed. On Tuesday morning at I4 came the big one, 82 minutes and 2,322 shots, none of which found anything. That night at D19 Mrthanosdih lasted 4 hours 32 minutes and fired 913 more, with the same result.

Shortly after midnight on Wednesday, back at D19, a 26 minute life produced 1,277 shots and, for the fourth time in the week, not a single hit. With 85.4 hours on the island this season, Mrthanosdih is clearly committed. Whatever was being aimed at all week remains, as far as the record can tell, entirely unharmed.

Classifieds

From 157 vending machines and 568 offers in stock.

Ambitious pricing

  • Low Grade Fuel, 50 scrap. At “A Shop”, proprietor MissSmoker. 125 times the going rate.
  • 20 × Jar of Honey, 25 scrap. At “A Shop”, proprietor Krak39. 5 times the going rate.

Bargains

  • 20 × Jar of Honey, 1 scrap. At “HONEY UNLIMITED:yellowpin::wave:”, proprietor Big Tedies. a 80% discount on the going rate.
  • Red Keycard, 20 scrap. At “PAPER N' PLASTIC”, proprietor MetaPattern. a 80% discount on the going rate.
  • Thompson, 50 sulfur ore. At “A Shop”, proprietor WifeofMikroft. a 80% discount on the going rate.

Also open for business: 3 Slot Gear :hazmat:, :eyes:, :heartrock:, :laugh:, :love:, :mask:, :nervous:, :wave:, :wave:420 Milk UR Tea :dance:, Ammo, Backpack, Backpacks and HQM.

Weather

  • WedShowers
  • ThuLight cloud
  • FriPassing showers
  • SatPassing showers
  • SunSqually
  • MonClear
  • TuePassing showers

A mostly clear week, with Wednesday's showers the wettest at 12 percent rain. Sunday turned squally and the fog thickened from then on, and Monday came back clear at 98 percent.

Watch next week

  • Power Plant was the busiest door for a third week, 144 swipes from 23 of you, down from 176 and 201. Watch whether it makes four, or whether the numbers keep falling.
  • Mrthanosdih, four lives this week ended without a single hit. Watch for the first one.
  • The Rat Dad, you went from 1.9 percent to 1.2. Watch whether you reach the wipe still above one.

The BZ Chronicle is drafted by machine from the island’s own event wire and read by a human before it prints. It never prints held wealth, base locations or anyone’s schedule. Rather not be named? Ask in Discord and the paper will leave you out.