All the news the island lets us print
Vol. 2026-09No. 4PvE Pure edition
Week threeEarly edition
A single life runs past a hundred hours, and GrandpaRoger1 doesn't blink
The island counted 18.1 thousand kills of scientists and wildlife this week, 85.6 thousand barrels stripped along the way, and 508 residents contributing a combined 8,558 hours to the total. Most of them came and went inside a shift or two. GrandpaRoger1 did not: a single life logged at 101.6 hours alive, more than double the mark that closed out last week's report, the longest stretch the island has produced yet this wipe.
Nobody else came close, but a couple of residents made a fair run at the idea. Monday morning, MetaPattern's life check-in put a stretch at just over forty three hours alive with fifty nine scientists down, and less than a day later bluesmanken matched him almost hour for hour, a little over forty two hours alive with forty three animals to his name. At Bandit Camp on Saturday evening, Don Juilo took the opposite approach to patience, doubling a wheel bet eleven times in fifteen minutes, up to a 240 scrap win and straight back down to a 401 scrap loss, the busiest and shortest-lived kind of streak the casino saw all week.
The sky ran from showers on Wednesday to a clean Monday and back to squalls by Tuesday, fog thickening to 0.55 on both squally days, well past the island's usual haze. Twenty days into the wipe, eight remain.
A puzzle room takes twelve hours to crack, then keeps everyone waiting
Card readers clicked 665 times this week, puzzle rooms fell 425 times, and 343 crates got started cold, the alarm log's usual churn. Potato aim alone accounted for 47 of the swipes, including a routine pass through Power Plant's V6 on Friday afternoon. Most puzzles cracked inside the hour, but one dragged on well past the rest: the week's longest took just over twelve hours to open, and its loot sat for another eleven and a half before anyone came to collect it. Crates went up at grids across Train Yard, The Dome, both Oil Rigs, Satellite Dish, Small Harbor, Airfield, Large Harbor, Power Plant, Ferry Terminal, Military Tunnel, Water Treatment Plant and Arctic Research Base this week, a full circuit of the map's card readers.
Don Juilo runs the ladder at Bandit Camp, up to 240 scrap and back down to nothing
Bandit Camp's wheel was stingy this week: nineteen bets placed, seventeen results logged, and only one of them paid anything back. That one belonged to Don Juilo, who built his way up from a five scrap bet to a forty scrap bet across four spins on Saturday evening and cashed out 240 scrap for it, the wheel's only win of the week. He started the ladder straight over, five to ten to twenty to forty to eighty to a hundred and sixty to three hundred and twenty, and lost the lot, the final spin alone costing him 401 scrap. Eleven bets inside fifteen minutes was more than anyone else sat through all week. El Agricultor and Golden God took smaller, tidier losses on Monday and Tuesday, staking under a hundred scrap each and getting nothing back either.
MrMyst pulls thirty crates off the seabed in one overnight dive
MrMyst turned the seabed into a one-man operation this week: a marathon dive spanning Friday night into Saturday morning surfaced thirty crates, nearly all of what the island recovered underwater all week. Newagekillar picked at the edges Monday morning with three crates of his own, and salamislices found one more Tuesday afternoon, and that was the entire haul beyond MrMyst's reach. Traffic through the deep otherwise stayed sociable: house2dog9, Sektran and bmcintyre1878 went under together Saturday evening and didn't surface again until past ten, and MYTHOS ducked into the deep four times on Tuesday alone, some visits barely a minute, one stretching past ninety.
Two lives push past forty hours alive, a day apart
Life summaries came in from all corners this week, 555 of them, next to 569 separate sessions at the planters, hemp and berries mostly, with the occasional pumpkin or ear of corn. GrandpaRoger1 quietly outlasted everyone else, a single life stretching 101.6 hours, more than double the mark that stood a week ago. MetaPattern and bluesmanken kept it more dramatic: a life logged Monday morning at just over forty three hours alive with fifty nine scientists down, and one logged Tuesday just before one in the morning at a little over forty two hours alive with forty three animals to its name. Snake Hates Crocs, already this wipe's playtime leader, still found room for the planters: 57 harvests, more than anyone else on the island this week.
Seven cars meet the shredder within the same hour
Eighty five scrap sales cleared through NPC vendors this week, Release the kraken! moving more than anyone else, 3,250 scrap sold across the week. The water gave and took in equal measure: Slobbu. lost a catch shortly after midnight Thursday, then landed an anchovy two minutes later and a small trout before the hour was out, while Skweebs matched him fish for fish on Saturday, a lost catch and a sardine landed inside the same minute. Fifteen cars went through the shredder in total, seven of them inside one hour just after midnight Sunday. Golden God logged the week's only parachute jump, a modest 787 unit glide off a 90.6 metre deploy that lasted just over five seconds in the air. Cargo kept moving regardless, 49 egress runs and four completed missions, from MrMyst's finish on Friday night to MYTHOS's on Tuesday afternoon.
Mento closes the gap on Jeff's NPC lead by more than two hundred kills
The wipe's ledger held mostly steady at the top. Jeff still leads the NPC count at 878 kills, unchanged from last week, but mento just found another gear, up from 585 to 828, enough to leapfrog Ty6xxx, also unchanged at 732, into second place, fifty kills short of the lead. Ty6xxx still holds the most efficient log in the top ten, all 732 of those kills coming in just 42 hours, against Jeff's 878 spread across a little over 140. Snake Hates Crocs is this wipe's playtime record so far, 213.4 hours logged, still shy of the 242.2 that closed out last wipe, but with over a week left to add to it. Elite crates kept moving fast, 463 first-loots claimed across the week, MYTHOS ahead of the pack with 39 of them, including two claimed twenty minutes apart on Tuesday evening, at A17 and then A11. Medics logged 67 assists against 66 healings, and 28 notes got played on the island's various instruments, Maximus Savage responsible for three of them on three different days.
The week's specialists
Don Juilo's eleven-bet ladder at the wheel was the week's most watchable collapse, four spins up to a 240 scrap win and seven more down to a 401 scrap loss inside fifteen minutes. GrandpaRoger1's single life ran 101.6 hours, better than double the mark that stood a week ago. And MrMyst's thirty crates off the seabed, recovered inside one overnight session, easily cleared anything the deep has produced so far this season.
bmcintyre1878
Thursday evening opened with a life that had already run nearly four hours and forty eight minutes, seventeen animals down along the way, and the rest of the evening went to patching up a companion, four healings and two assists logged between 20:47 and 22:06. By Saturday he'd traded the medic bag for a wetsuit, going under with house2dog9 and Sektran a little after half past eight, surfacing with elite loot from grid A12 twice within the same two seconds sixteen minutes later, a third from A4 twenty five minutes after that, and not climbing out of the water again until past ten.
Tuesday was his busiest stretch. Across about an hour that evening, starting a little after half past seven, he opened crates at J-1, H-1 and Large Harbor's D2, claimed elite loot at I-1 and then at Large Harbor's E2, swiped a level three card into Large Oil Rig's AF13, and looted two more elites there twelve seconds apart. A life check logged shortly after put that run at 31 scientists killed in under three hours alive. He closed the week the way he'd spent most of it, back at the planters on Wednesday night for one more round of blue berries.
Mento's NPC count jumped from 585 to 828 this week, enough to leapfrog Ty6xxx, still parked at 732, into second place, fifty kills behind Jeff's unmoved 878. Watch whether mento keeps closing before the finale.
MrMyst's thirty crate dive just reset the deep sea bar, the week after stormnado's ten fell well short of the eighteen crate mark. Watch for whoever comes for thirty next.
Bandit Camp's wheel paid out once against nineteen bets this week, a long way from the run that handed Katnip eleven thousand scrap two weeks back. Watch whether the tables stay this tight or loosen again before the season ends.