All the news the island lets us print
Vol. 2026-09No. 2PvE Hardcore edition
Week oneEarly edition
Six days in, one resident is already living an entire wipe by himself
The standings for NPCs killed this wipe have a clear top of the table, and it belongs to X_X T0A5T3D: 2,636 NPCs down and 137 hours and 54 minutes logged on the island since the map went up on Thursday. The next closest name on that board, Tken, has put in 89 hours and 30 minutes for 1,919 kills. X_X T0A5T3D also swiped more keycards than anyone else this week, 70 of them, which means the same resident is currently leading the NPC count, the playtime count, and the keycard count at once. The island has had six days to sort itself out. It appears to have sorted itself into one very busy man and everyone else.
His single biggest life this week, logged early Friday morning, ran nine hours and twenty minutes: 136 players down, 46 scientists, and nearly two hours spent inside monuments before it ended. He kept returning to the same crate site at G21 across four separate days, and to the same door at A3 and D3 for keycard swipes that never seemed to stop. Against last wipe's marks, he is still short of crass_user's 3,962 NPC kills and a good way off Yadernij_Gus's 185 hours, but there are 22 days left on the clock and he has not shown any sign of slowing down to check.
The week opened thundery on Thursday and only got worse: squally Friday, heavy rain through Saturday, the wettest and most unsettled day the ledger recorded all week. It eased into showers over the weekend and settled into passing showers by Tuesday and Wednesday, the fog banks thinning back down to the island's usual haze along the way. Nobody got a clear day. Nobody, this week, got much of a break at all.
Two thousand stretches of gunfire and one very busy Airfield
The island logged 2,048 separate stretches of NPC fighting this week, spread across every monument on the map from the Ferry Terminal to the Arctic Research Base. Nobody put in more of them than murt, whose 112 separate fights lead the field by a wide margin. Late Wednesday afternoon Tken went to the launch site and took on the snipers at 15:22, then came back twenty five minutes later for the easy bots, a tidy back-to-back that most residents would call a full day's work and Tken apparently called a warm-up.
Seven hundred swipes and one puzzle that would not give in
Keycard doors swung open 713 times this week and puzzles gave up their loot 691 times, most of them inside minutes of the first attempt. Not all of them. One puzzle, cracked Thursday evening, took three hours and nineteen minutes of effort after sitting untouched for over an hour beforehand, the longest such standoff the week recorded. On the final night, DaveThePleb and Cid each swiped a level three card at A3 within an hour of each other, the week's only pair of level three swipes and a fittingly high note to close on.
One big wheel, one big win, and a rough week for DarkStalker
DarkStalker fed the big wheel 217, then 210 scrap on Friday and got nothing back either time, then came back the next day and lost 420 and 316 more the same way, 1,163 scrap into the terminal across two sittings with not a single payout to show for it. maks.internetov, playing much smaller, placed 16 bets across a single Friday session for a handful of modest returns. Then on Saturday morning CapCon sat down, wagered 104 scrap, and walked off with 2,184, the biggest single payout the casino desk logged all week.
Seven hundred harvests, and 312 lives that did not make it to a second week
Planters across the island were worked 719 times this week, and 312 lives on the island came to their end, both counted the way the island counts them: exactly. Bagadonuts put in more harvesting sessions than anyone, 76 of them, hemp and corn and pumpkin by turns. At the other end of the scale, Tken's longest surviving life ran 59.3 hours before it closed, the longest the farm desk logged all week. Not every life got that far. One newer arrival's turn on the island lasted barely half an hour and ended without a single kill logged against it, which is a rough introduction even by the island's standards.
Thirteen crates in nine minutes, and MB's standing arrangement with the water
MB surfaced more underwater crates than anyone this week, 183 of them, spread across long sessions that started Thursday afternoon and kept going past one in the morning. fella matched that pace for a single burst early Friday, hauling thirteen crates up in just over nine minutes flat before calling it a night. murt made repeated trips into the deeper water across Tuesday and Wednesday, entering and surfacing several times over, the kind of back and forth that the deep sea desk exists to record.
Eight cars, twenty two sales, and MB's ongoing fishing habit
Drews sold more scrap to vendors than anyone this week, 800 in total, while eight cars met the shredder across two separate clusters of activity. MB kept a near daily appointment at the water's edge, coming back with catfish, salmon, trout and yellow perch across four different days, the island's steadiest fisherman by a wide margin even before the deep sea numbers are added in.
Forty nine purge wins, and a season still chasing last season
The island logged 49 purge wins this week, 448 new skills learned, and 281 first loots pulled off elite crates before anyone else got there. DarkStalker took three of those purge wins, more than anyone else, and Buzz claimed 20 of the elite first loots, also a league of his own. Measured against last wipe, the current leaders are still short of the old marks: 2,636 NPC kills against crass_user's 3,962, 137.9 hours against Yadernij_Gus's 185. Twenty two days remain to close that gap, or not.
The week's names, one column at a time
MB's week doubles up: most crates surfaced and a standing habit at the docks besides. CapCon's single wheel spin outdid every other payout on the island by a wide margin, and Tken's 59.3 hour life is the longest anyone managed to hold onto this week without losing it.
CapCon
CapCon's week reads like someone who could not decide what kind of resident to be, and so tried all of them. Thursday afternoon he was clearing the Abandoned Supermarket and the Junkyard back to back, then harvesting corn by the evening, then logging a life that had run three hours and eleven minutes with twelve scientists and twelve players against his name. By Friday he was swiping into A3 twice within two minutes, first at level one then at level two, and Saturday morning he sat down at the big wheel, put in 104 scrap, and came away with 2,184, the single biggest payout the casino desk saw all week.
The life he logged early Tuesday morning had run six hours and forty two minutes and included an hour and 26 minutes spent inside monuments alone, 74 scientists and 39 players down by the time it ended. He closed the week the way he opened it, back at A3 on Wednesday afternoon for one more first loot, twelve event types touched over the week without settling on a single one of them.
Whether X_X T0A5T3D's lead in NPC kills and hours logged holds up once the rest of the island stops watching and starts catching up.
Whether the three-hour puzzle standoff was a one-off, or whether the island's doors are about to get harder to argue with.
Whether the calmer, passing-showers close to this week holds, or whether Saturday's heavy rain was just the island clearing its throat.